Human

When you can gently caress a flower
with the same hand you used
To destroy the Earth, to destroy life;

When you can tenderly speak words of love
with the same mouth which
You used to spit burning words of hate and death;

When you can admire life's wonder
with the same mind where
You once whispered muderous thoughts of anger;

Only then are you Human.

Today / Me Falling Asleep

I am writing this post now because I feel the other "normal" blog post today just didn't say anything. Wow...I am at a loss for words to even begin to describe today. The plural nominal phrase "Lightning Swords" is oddly floating around my mind like curling smoke rising from a fire. My bravado, self-confident exterior slowly dwindles down until I'm back to being my quiet, shy self that wants to sleep on the keyboard or the floor, whichever is closer. I wake up every moring as a positive extrovert, and I fall asleep as an (insert negative adjective here) introvert. One more reasons to avoid staying up too late. I like to be nice and happy in the morning. Exercise or being around other people can help tremendously with the above problem. Lately I haven't been getting much of the latter. I live in my own twisted fairytale, and thank god very few people have been there, even though it has flying oceans of fire and wind you can walk on. Nevermind, I wish more people were here with me, it's so lonely. I wish I could write something more inspirational, but that isn't how I feel right now. I feel weird. And by weird, I mean weirder than usual. I don't know if that's good or bad.

Now that my mind has begun to wander, I might as well get those odd thoughts out there while they exist.

What if everyone on the Earth suddenly woke up and became intelligent? Sure, I wouldn't feel special anymore, but now I'm seriously wondering what would happen...

I've always wondered, why do people want flying cars? I always imagined horrible accidents in the sky with wrecks plummeting hundreds of feet before reaching the ground. Just imagine how horrible rush hour would be.

Rush hour. Where did that phrase come from? There isn't anything "rushed" about it.

Sleeping, why am I not?

Actually, maybe I am sleeping. I would be sleep-blogging. I dream about blogging.

Back to my fairytale. I need to make a map of this place sometime. Or I could just end up finishing one of my other million unfinished projects. Work, work, work. Even my escapism seems is becoming a hassle. Maybe I should just lighten up on the strict, formal grammatical regime I've subjected myself to.

Altho thn moest ppl cdnt rd my posts.

O.k. I am growing more and more tired. I can't really see the screen anymore. Time to call it quits. I'm going to let the day 10 Kimi 4th of K'anasiiy rise.

So goodnight world! I promise I shall speak with you some other time, but I have important business to do. (That would be sleeping, you know, that thing you do when you run out of things to say?)

Shattered

I watched the clouds pass idly by,
Each one so lonely that I could cry
The wind picked up, I stood facing the frigid air.
And I thought you'd never end my nightmare
I pledged my fealty, certain I would die
But the gods laughed, no end for me was nigh

Life must be the dream, because only dreams can be hell
Dreaming is reality, only your voice can make my pain fade
If they really want to torture me,
They should make me relive my life, but without you
Despite all of the pain you have given me,
I would gladly run out of the trench
If you were on the other side.

I watch the people pass by,
Each one so lonely that I could cry
And so I do, my cold tears; the rain
Falling on the bodies, falling on just another
Just another heartbroken soldier.
Caught up in his own world
He let his love blind him,
Because love is blind.

He fell to his knees, tears and blood on his cheeks
A thousand holes in his chest,
But he only felt pain from one of them
The hole that no bullet can produce;
The hole within his heart
Was what killed him.

Clarification

Today I felt a bit bothered by the cluttered nature this blog is aquiring. It reminds me too much of my room. So, from now on, I will post first a blog post and then a poem in the regular daily routine. I felt like making a FAQ for this blog, even if there aren't any real questions that I get yet. (Don't worry, my blog will dominate the blogiverse one day. No, not the blogosphere, the blogiverse. We (and by we, I mean I) do have one follower, one small step to world domination!)

Instead of an FAQ, I believe that I will simply explain who Libra is. He's me in a lot of ways, but the key difference is this: he is anonymous, I am not. He only exists in an intangible realm. He is free from what common society dictates as right or wrong to say. He just says it. Other than that, he is in my body, has my hands, has my mind, has my soul, knows my fears, knows who I love, and feels my pain. He isn't a real person. He is an extension of my conscious that I created because I tend to let my own self-judgement get in the way of allowing my feelings to become tangible, physical words. No, I don't think that I have split-personality disorder, but feel free to make your own judgement, because as Libra I could care less what you think of me. Well, mostly, that is. If you (current follower / potential follower / self) approve of or agree with anything that I say, please say some words, as I write every last word of encouragement that I get down into one of my multitude of notebooks. Yes, they are that rare. Now, dear reader, we must march on into the lyric of this broken little universe of mine!

The Heartfelt Bit (Or, The Universe As I See It)

(I posted the usual poem first just because I got bored.)
Today could have been better, but that's okay. One does not necessarily need to experience excellent days in such a singular, boring fashion. On a positive note, a friend called and told me to write a poem about trench warfare because "It's depressing." I told him that I wouldn't, but secretly I think I'm going to use it as a source of inspiration.

I felt pretty left out today, but I live in pain and I like challenges. Pain is rare, and it is one of the few things left in our world which cannot be misunderstood. There are only three such things: Pain, Fear, and Love. Love is the most short lived oftentimes, and people tend to mistake it for something much worse. Love is as quiet and shy as obsession is loud and obnoxious. Fear is the most dark. Fear fills you with an undeniable compulsion to act. Much like "love." Fear is the root of all hatred and the root of all evil. Hatred is a corruption of the soul. Pain. Pain is a poison, seeping into each and every part of you, weighing you down like lead in your veins. Love is fire, burning away the burdens of your pain that you carry with you. Love scares away the creatures of the dark that your fear. Without all of these, you are no better than a machine. A husk. An empty shell of a body, with the soul inside having long ago withered away. Life isn't just something terrible that you just have to live through, it's hardwired to be difficult, and hardwired to be painful. So, take up your pen, and pour out your world like you are spilling your own hot blood onto the page.

"Words -- so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them." -N. Hawthorne

Here, then, is the beauty of words. No matter who I am, and no matter where you are, my words will convey my world to you despite any prejudice you have, despite whether or not you hate me. They simply are. They are my reality, a torrential rain of emotions, a river of pain, and world where nobody gets what they want unless they head for it straight on. A world where doing so will be your death. So, when trapped in a box and chained to the earth, dream outside of the box, and invent your own world. Then it won't matter how many chains they put on you; you will always be free.

Symphony, Part 3

I wrote this song today:

Back in the city,
The city of light,
Because I don't want to be alone tonight

The Sky -
Is reeling
Everyone's gone,
And somehow the world keeps turning
Oh Why -
These feelings
Everyone's here,
But you are gone
The Symphony of Broken Hearts

The city is dark,
Like our souls, so are we
The neon bulbs have ceased to glow
But when did It start?

My Sky -
Was reeling
Everyone was gone,
And somehow the world managed to turn
Oh Why -
Was I given feelings?
Everyone was here,
In the city of the dark
And the only thing I can hear is
The Symphony of Our Shattered Hearts

So at last the show comes to an end
And the people file out silent,
Are they impressed, appalled?
I thought you'd be here by now.

As the velvet curtains close on me,
One last time,
In the city of death and destiny,
Where everyone is oblivious to one another.

The Night Sky -
Was still reeling
From when the Titans' claws and the sins of men
--had rent her in two.
And no longer did this broken earth turn,
Because I-
I had ceased to die.
And no longer did people mindlessly hurt one another,
In the what was left of the city,
Where my every breath is now
A Symphony Without a Heart.

Waking Alone

In the night,
My world was stolen from me
Waking and dying,
It is still dark.

I cry with fear,
Howls and screams surrounding me
Are they mine?
Terribly alone, and fully aware of it.

What may have been minutes,
Is to me years of torture,
Where have you gone?
I am cold, but I can see light.

A thousand years, a second, later,
The world burst into light
As the sun was born again,
It burns away my burdens.

Then I cried bitterly once again,
You were there, right beside me.
I had nearly forgotten you,
And I was never alone on the ice,

But my joy turned to horror,
Because you were laying in your own blood,
Crimson red, as the sun below you.
The sun I wish had never risen;
In all of the horror of night,
I never had to face reality.

In other (less depressing) words, "Be Careful What You Wish For, Please."

Hello Again, Blog

Hi. How are you? Oh, you're fine are you? What do you mean you don't like all these poems that are on here? Well that's just too bad. They're there now, forever.
Today was good. Yes, yes it was. The past three days were some of the worst yet, and now suddenly I'm back on top again and I can't say just why. I no longer feel the need to buy "Social Activities For Dummies". I guess it's just knowing so many nice people that want to help me. (Is "help" the best word to use there?) Anyways, I think I'll just let it be and see where it goes, because even though I'm pretty sure this is a dream, everyone else seems to also be in it. So have a nice day, maybe go skip in a circle, smile at random people, or wave "Hello" at old friends, because your happiness can't and won't stay inside of you. It's bubbly and infectious, so spread the disease like I do! IAnd if you don't feel happy, then you will eventually. Everything will be okay. Close your eyes and dream of tomorrow, if today no longer pleases you. I tried living in the past, and it nearly killed me. So don't make my mistake, because so long as you dream, there will always be another day. The sun sets and I have nothing left to say.

And Then, Everything Was Fine

You and I, our love will die
We headed out of town
Drove out a few miles,
Alone together on the highway,
While the sun just kept on rising.

And we drove to the graveyard
We got there just in time
Everything was fine,
I was smiling, you were laughing
As we put our burdens down inside
That icy grave.

The next day passed by,
And the sun was already low
As if it never had shone
Everything was fine,
I was smiling, you were laughing,
As we put our love down inside
Our icy grave.

And when at last the end of Winter was nigh,
For the first time it was I who cried,
In the snow so long now had I lied
I was unaware of you passing me by
And then, everything was fine,
But only because I had died.

When There Isn't Anything, Then

I wish I was the tough type
Maybe then I wouldn't cry and suffer
Or maybe it's because I feel pain that I am strong,
Either way that isn't how it feels
How it feels to me-

My cup is overfull, and I'm going to burst
Because there's only so much that I can take
Could someone break me?
Maybe then all of these feelings could go away
Because I don't want them anymore-

As the sun rises, so do I
As the sun sets, now I can die
But it's fine, as far as I'm concerned
At least while this demon, sadness, possesses me.
At least while this demon, fear, possesses me.
At least while this demon, love, possesses me.

My cup is empty now, and I suffer once again
He's back to greet me,
My new and only friend, pain
Could someone sew me back together?
Maybe then I won't be broken
Because I'm getting bored with my wounds,
And I have nowhere left to run.

With Me / Nights In June

(This sounds better as a song.)


When the lights aren't on
When the lights aren't on

Come with me
I'll show you the edge
Of eternity

Take my hand
And we'll go
Where-ev-er we wanna go
wanna go

While the lights weren't on
While the lights weren't on
While the lights weren't oh-n

Fly with me
And we'll go back
(back) to the cemetary

So take my hands
And we'll fly
-our whole lives just passing us by
passing us by
so goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
I said goodbye

And the lights turned on
And the lights turned on
And the lights turned on

And you were gone.

On The Edge (Again)

I can't stop it
Like my bleeding wounds
You've blown a hole
Through My life
With a .30 calibre bullet

Smiling in Death's face
(My new best friend)
As the razor caresses my neck
On the edge now

Grinning bitterly
And addicted to everything
and Nothing
It is the worst (best)
feeling in the world

Apart, I am dead
Together, we are dying

A Valentine's Poem (in Ch'ol)

So technically I took this one from one of my linguist buddies (me),
who cares, I love Ch'ol Mayan, Libra doesn't. Here it is:

u-chak nich
u-yax nich
in-ch'eniiy
'atimaw in-ohl.

Flowers are red
and flowers are blue
And I said it:
You make my heart swell (with joy).

Valentine's Day

I keep a jar of change by my bed, to remind me of how pointless some things are. This Valentine's day I wore every color but red. (At least I tried to)
Valentine's day is an exercise in knowing everything you cannot have. It's very much like walking through a mall with no money, just to stare in the windows at everything that you really want, but also everything you can never have. I don't do that. That's what I would call torture. Speaking of torture, my friend needed some help with the grammar of Spanish. After about twenty minutes of overview, I could see why he hated every language on the face of the earth. This may just make me his opposite in that regard. I love to study and create languages and writing systems like a singer likes to sing or an artist likes to draw or a writer likes to write or an engineer likes to build. Words are my first love. Until then, I am empty of words, go ahead and read something else... (And by that I am talking to myself, because followers are overrated.)

Happy National Loneliness Day...

Fire Sea

It echoes across me-
the dark Sun
Falling, the eternal celestial
drowning in the primordial sea
Place of birth
close your eyes,
As you did at dawn
as you so choose to do now.

Weep a tear
upon the silent hill,
Your birthmother
godess of Earth
Last child child of Earth
fearing the last sunset:
The dawn of the dark Sun
eternal, forsaken
Nowhere to turn
as Andromeda now are you chained
turn to face it-

And The Sun Sets
For the last time.